Mirko Gustic’s suggestions (Huxley, Haig, Berne, Gray are to be blamed)
You thought I was done?
So did I.
But, I’ve learned something, which helped me and perhaps it could help you too->
You are not going to change your life drastically (as you always think you will, when reading Coelho), but good news is that you don’t even have to.
It really is just a couple of small things, different perceptions, knowing tiny bit more about yourself in certain situations that can turn your life into a happy one. Below those which helped me
1. Your social interactions are, for the most part, games, where you choose to be a kid, a parent or an adult. You CHOOSE to be a kid, a parent or an adult. PERIOD. (Games People Play – Eric Berne)
2. Many of your fears are just patterns in your mind, not an objective reality. I know this won’t make too much sense, but the fact that you have seen a black cat and you don’t take 3 steps back and spit on the floor really doesn’t mean that you are going to die.
3. You have some 30k of days in here – make some of them worth remembering. (Humans -Matt Haig)
4. The “90-10” rule. When facing emotionally difficult situation, remember that 90% of your anger/fear/sadness comes from your past experiences (you know mother, farther, childhood, hopes, dreams, gift you wanted and didn’t get, old friends, older fiends, fears, I said “you know”…) and only 10% can be attributed to THIS particular stimuli…(Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus – John Gray)
5. Women. They don’t want your advice when they complain… Breathe that in. Again. Women, they don’t want your advice when they complain…
WHY DID THEY NOT TAUGHT ME THIS IN AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL?!!! And I know, they could make tremendous use of your advice as you are a smart, intelligent, well-read, rational being, but presumably it wouldn’t help them. I’m only in a testing phase of this, but it seems to really be what they want.
Also, you will find it very difficult to understand why do they insist on being irrational and to pretend to understand their suffering –> serve yourself with this -> “try to imagine how would it feel to see the world with her eyes” -> now, you will NOT be able to do that, but the very trying of it might make your face just the right sad/puzzled/suffering to make your significant other feel like you understand her- voila! (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus – John Gray)
6. Your posture has an impact on your psyche. So do the things you eat. Stop dividing yourself into soul, body and mind. You are a whole Your body is a reflection of your mind (stop slouching Mirko) and soul, and your mind and soul is a reflection of your body (stop slouching Mirko for F sake!!!)…
It’s an exquisite excuse, of course, to blame your body for those not-so-exquisite thoughts you get when seeing all those beautiful women wearing close to nothing in the summertime, but now, who cares? I know you might be married and all, so you shouldn’t even look, right? Right? RIGHT?!!! C’mon man…(Ever heard of sunglasses?!)
But they (thoughts) tend to get straight-up ugly, don’t they? Of course. But don’t they get ugly just the moment you start to apply “I shouldn’t”- filter? (I imagine it like this-> Your mind is this ULTRASTRONG computer which will find the way to enable you to pursue your craving. What if it makes these thoughts ugly ones, so you feel ashamed (and thus punished and thus permitted (you’ve been punished by the blame already) to have it? I don’t know, I’m no psychologist even less so psychiatrist (although I would be a stellar case study for both I’m sure), it’s just a thought I have for you to play with.)
We need to embrace ourselves for what we are. Amuse yourself with those thoughts, be happy you have them, look them in the eye (and that requires a ton of courage!) and I promise they will become clearer and thus cleaner.
Now, you shouldn’t act on them as you shouldn’t and wouldn’t steal a car (or a movie, now would you?! Ha?!) just because you like it, but please don’t distance yourself from your body, or your mind. Neither of them is your personal devil trying for your soul. (Huxley for the most part.)
7. Drugs. I’m afraid too ok? And I’m not sending you to that shady looking guy, you always try to not see when passing by, to buy some stuff in there, but let’s not pretend that alcohol is not a drug ok? And let’s not pretend that you, whoever you are, don’t do any type of drugs, because you do.
I have to think about this a tiny bit more before I form a solid opinion. I just want you to do it too, before you try to send someone on the stake just because he tried LSD. And if you happen to be a doctor and you don’t believe that certain chemical reactions can help people to feel better (even if the subject is their head), then you better return that diploma. “But we know so little about the possible implications…” Go f***king do some research then. I’m positive there is plenty of people willing(eager) to participate in the research. (Would it be more responsible to let these eager people try them in an uncertain quality and no guidance on the street?)
Look drugs are going to be here while we are here (as porn of sorts will), it’s better to discuss and understand their risks/merits then just turn a blind eye.
(Huxley – The Doors of Perception)
8. Only secret to happy life is to learn how to love people. (Huxley – Eyeless in Gazza)
9. In social interactions, there is no such thing as an objective reality. Don’t be too harsh defending your opinions. You might be right from your point of view, but so can be your counterparty, while having absolutely contradictory opinions. Just leave yourself some manoeuvring space…
10. And what is it? Did you become a little more of a pussy and much more afraid of a man ever since you gotten comfortable in your relationship? Do you feel it’s her fault too? Well, it is…
But not fault, but a merit. The very comfort you feel in your relationship is a reason your mind feels at ease enough to face your old fears (remember the 90-10 rule!). You can be, of course, mad at her for making you the person you don’t like that much, but you may as well be thankful and try to understand what it is you are so afraid of. And that’s an extremely courageous feat! (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus – John Grey)
11. Focus! Don’t let yourself to get derailed for too long. Just keep in mind that your past, your environment and many other factors affect you so much, that basically the only thing which is truly yours is your focus (we can call it will to make it more comprehensible). (It IS supposed to be hard, if it would be a trifle easier it would be boring, these things work geometrically, not arithmetically.)
Aha and also, tell me, what would you do if you couldn’t tell anybody you did it?
That’s all I got for you for now. But there is more to come. Some more Huxleys, Grays even Palmer Halls to read. Stay tuned. (Fuck even Haigs – he’s is remarkable I’m ashamed to admit…)
Skills : Blog